I had the weirdest dream.
I was surrounded by familiar faces.
We were having a sumptuous meal, a feast.
Nothing weird about that.
The aroma of the delicious food fills my nostril.
Constant stream of food and drink coming our way, I can barely see the table top.
We were eating, drinking, laughing. I had the best time of my life.
Then, as if on cue, one by one, people started to leave.
I on the other hand still busy eating my heart out!
Not enough, no, still hungry, more food!
Seems like whatever I put in my mouth never reach my stomach. It went right out of me...I don't know, the food just poof..gone!
Still hungry!
Eat, eat eat!
In the end, everybody left.
I was all alone.
Still eating.
And crying.
Then I woke up.
Cursing to myself.
I swear I will never ever watch The Biggest Loser Asia ever again! Never!
'The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanone by onectum of the soul, which opens to that primeval cosmic night that was soul long before there was conscious ego and will be soul far beyond what a conscious ego could ever reach.' - Carl Jung
25 December, 2009
'All that we see or seem, is but a dream within a dream' - Edgar Allan Poe
23 December, 2009
Thanks to Yen, I fell head over heel with this poem.
AKU MAHU BERKATA
Aku hilang kata
lebat tuduh basahku seluruh
kenapa digugah tiang percaya?
Ke manalah makna
prasangka membanjir
kasih tercicir
Di rakit rasa
hanyutku lara
di renyai reda
kau menagih makna
tenanglah minda
aku mahu bicara
“Aku
inilah aku yang dulu
tertambat aku di jeti cinta tua
lumut kasih tak kukikis
aku masih di perahu setia
pantang bocor takkan hancur
jika robek jua lantai mesra
jangan kau selamatkan aku lagi
jangan…”
Hasimah Harun
Kuala Lumpur, 15.07.03
25 November, 2009
"Some people are born to fatness. Others have to get there." - Les Murray
04 November, 2009
Hai obat hai obat...mari beli obat...
Adik aku dah selesai stage 1 chemo as part of the treatment for her cerebral lupus.
Not sure berapa banyak stage lagi....tanya doctor pun doctor jawab - "depends...." followed by a loooong pause. Lagi 2 minggu admit semula for 2nd cycle.
Setiap kali adik masuk hospital, mesti ada benda baru aku discover.
New experience (not necessarily pleasant), new knowledge gained:-
1) Rituximab - Air jampi imported. Harga 1 botol RM5,000. Adik aku kena amik 4 botol. Lepas harga sebijik kereta, tak pun down payment rumah. *gulp*
2) Cyclophosphamide - tonic mujarab untuk pesakit cancer & SLE. Rasa sekali, sure tak nak lagi.
Macam2 khasiat tonic neh. Boleh gugurkan rambut, boleh menguruskan badan with constant vomitting and diarrhoea, boleh menghitamkan lidah & kuku dan berbagai2 lagi.
3) 400mg of cyclo bersamaan dengan 4 jam kena tahan kencing.
4) Boleh tengok movie kat ipod touch (so the bodo!).
5) Parking charges kat HUKM maacam cibai. Parking attendant selamba badak letak harga sendiri.
6) Crossword puzzle have very little, well, almost no significant impact in brain stimulation. At least not mine. Lagi ngantuk ada la.
7) 2/3rd of the nurses & doctors in that ward muda daripada aku...haihh.
8) Doctor-doctor muda dan naive sangat delicious.....hehehehe.
9) Berbuat baik dengan nurse, insyaAllah bayak urusan akan jadi lebih mudah.
Berbuat baik dengan mamat yang antar food, insyaAllah, ko akan dapat extra food untuk bukan sahaja pesakit, tetapi kakak pesakit skali. Heh!
10) Adik aku memang kuat dan tabah. Kalau aku, hemm...ntah la.
Guess, all of us are learning to take it one day at a time, in our own ways.
God knows what lay ahead. As for now, I personally am grateful for what we have so far.
Syukur, alhamdulillah.
