MUCH ADO ABOUT PREGGERS..

"Ma, pregnant to aper? Macamana boleh pregnant?".

"Haiihh....pregnant tuh...uurr...bila.. urr.. ada baby dalam perut....pastu...urr..gi tanya bapak!" Ngeee...

By definition, pregnant means 'having a child developing in the uterus of one's body'. Of course darling...takkan having a child developing kat kepala lutut kot...

When it comes to pregnancy, aku percaya, those yang close dengan aku tahu yang aku tak berapa favour topic nehh. NOT a big fan for sure! Why? Pregnancy = babies. Aku ada issue dengan 2 benda alah neh. PREGNANT & BABIES. BABIES & PREGNANT!

To start with, masa bujang dulu, aku memang ada masalah ngan babies ,toddlers dan mereka yang seangkatan dengannya. Aku tak pandai nak handle..layan...cuddle...pujuk..etc..etc...Marah OK! Lain2 tuh..memang tak bleh blah!
Normal reflex bila nampak baby cute, people would go like...comelnyeerr...so cute...awww (cubit pipi)...smell so nice...
My 'normal' reflex bila nampak baby...cute or not....suddenly jadik pendiam..berdiri tegak2 jauh2...avoid physical and eye contact...kalau boleh, move away from the undesired entity secepat mungkin!
Normal reflex bila nampak toddler comel...people would go like..so clever...very energetic...cute..cute..cute..(cubit pipi lagi..pftt!)
My 'normal' reflex bila nampak toddler..cute or not... "Anak saper neehh...shooohhh....jauh..go away!!"

Then, as if macam kena hukum ngan tuhan kann....a month after nikah terus sangkut! I was not on any form of cotraception then, but mana nak tau yang aku camtu punya subur!
OK..fine....aku terima.
My own personal pregnancy experience is actually the deterrent factor yang menyebabkan aku terlalu detest pregnancy.
I was very petite...operative word here...WAS. Pregnancy forced my body to stretch until Felda Sg. Koyan! Literally! Kulit aku punyerla tegang, causing itchiness yang melampau!! Arrghh...I cringe bila teringat balik! Ugghh!!
9 months sisters...9 freaking months brothers....menggaruk macam beruk Mat yeh. Tak bleh panas skit, miang satu badan! Macam2 aku taruk - bedak sejuk, baby oil, olive oil, Cocoa Butter, planta majerin (hehehe...). Serik....aku betul2 serik.
Tapi Tuhan Maha adil. Aku beranak senang. Kengkawan in labour pain sampai 24 jam, kena induce laa...kena potong sana sini...aku 1/2 jam jer kot! Macam tak percaya! My water broke at 12.00 am, bleh gelak2 lagi...start rasa sakit dlm pukul 2.30 am...pukul 3 am dah beranak! Magic kan?

Still....ingatkan dah ada anak sendiri..attitude aku towards babies akan berubah. To certain extend...yes. Siapa tak sayang anak. Dulu, nak pegang baby pun tak suka, now, dukung sampai kebas tangan pun takpe. Dulu, tak reti nak pujuk2 neehh....lantak pi depa....now, mcm2 trick aku dah belajaq dah.
Cuma ada satu lagi kelemahan yang aku masih cuba nak overcome. Aku pantang dengar baby nangis. This only applies to anak orang lain. Aku jenis yang tak bleh biar budak menangis cenggitu jer. Antara dua - sama ada aku pujuk & layan dia sampai diam or aku suruh mak dia diamkan anak dia sebelum aku diamkan!
The b'coz...I don't know!! Maybe sebab bila aku tanya, kenapa ko nangis, baby takleh jawab....aku jadik panic! Or maybe becoz telinga aku nih super sensitive to high pitch frequency! Bila aku dengar suara bayi menangis, emosi aku macam kacau giler! Aku jadi stress tak tentu pasal. Ko nak tengok aku stress tahap cipan, ko suruh aku duduk dalam wad kanak2! Tak bleh baii...tak blehh... giler aku....serious! There was a point yang aku rasa macam bleh faham kenapa ada orang yang sanggup cekik bayi sampai mati.
Teruk kan! Apsal aku camni ar? Haiihhh....this weakness of mine, masih cuba nak perbaiki diri...cuba.

Ketakserasian between aku, pregnancy and babies memang tak boleh disangkal. So, after Dinie was born, aku bertekad untuk tak nak ada anak lagi. Semua orang tau! Budak2 office, jiran sebelah rumah, mak mentua, sepupu sepapat, even mamak roti canai pun tau! Implanon jadik kawan baik aku. Implanon tuh aper? Goggle lar sendiri!
Soalan2 standard seperti - "Bila nak dapat nombor2?" or statement yang cenggini - "Kesian Dinie, takde kawan!" aku tepis dengan jawapan2 yang macam nih - "Tunggu ko dapat nombor 6 dulu!" or "Aku beranak, ko jaga yek!". Pelik sangat aku kalau ada sorang anak jer? Sheeshh!

Actually, kalau setakat nak beranak suka2....bleh! berapa nak? 5 cukup? Tapi, nak membesarkan budak neh supaya bleh jadik 'orang', perghhh...memang satu cabaran. Aku pun blum cukup 'orang' lagi...nak raise seorang 'orang'. You get what I mean?

Tapi...ader tapi. Something new came up. A situation that might change my status from NO ..NO..NO.. to erkk...yes..yes...yes?? Maybe..maybe...maybe...kott...

Moons ago, we, Datuk H and I made a conscious decision, TOGETHER, not to have another child . I got to know recently from someone that he secretly wished that I would somehow change my mind about all this not wanting another kid hullabaloos.
Heemm.....*evil smirk on my face*
Taking up on this lead, I brought up the subject last weekend....casually of course. He seems very teruja with the idea. He said something like, he is ready to blaa..blaa...blaa... and it's high time to add a new member to the family (get a pet!!) and how it will all be OK.
I laughed so hard!! Dalam hati! The man is so fickle!

I made a deal..with the devil.

If he comes back to work in KL, I will bear him another child!
Translation: Kalau dia balik kerja KL, aku akan mengandung lagi!

Of course, there were other terms...malas nak go into detail here.

So....we'll see!! : )